T. N. Mickushina. A story about writing the book
“Good and Evil. An individual interpretation of “The Secret Doctrine” by H. P. Blavatsky”
Seminar “Good and Evil,” Kaunas, Lithuania, 2010

Sometime at the end of 1996 or in 1997, I found the Teaching of the American organization “Summit Lighthouse.” I had never before heard anything about the fall of the angels or Lucifer. When I visited their seminar and heard this Teaching, I was elated because I thought I found the answer to the question that bothered me: “Why is everything around us not as good as it should be?” And I realized that there is someone who bears full responsibility for all the mess that is going on around me. I thought that it would be very good to give people this Teaching, and to talk about this Teaching as much as possible. People just do not know why everything around them is so bad.

I then tried to write a few chapters for the book, which are included in the book "Good and Evil." These are the first two chapters: “The rebellion of Lucifer” and “The fall of mankind.” Approximately in the autumn of 2002 (which was a very difficult time for me), I was going through very serious trials and tests, and I was meditating at this time. During the meditation, the thoughts began to come to me: “Things aren’t exactly the way that you understand them in the teaching about Lucifer. Lucifer is not so bad.”

It is an interesting thought. In 1998 I found this Teaching, and in 2002 (only 4 years later) I had not perceived the other point of view that comes from within me. I mean, I had not perceived the knowledge that comes from within me. I was told: “You got it all wrong”, but I rejected this and said, “No, I do not want to hear it.” And then, I was left alone for about 1 year.

In the autumn of 2003, the same thing happened. There were amazing meditations, and the Great Beings came, such as Lord Surya, Lord Sanat Kumara, and Lord Alpha. These were quite unique meditations, when I experienced such states, which I do not experience now. That is, the Masters began to work with me very "closely.” The thoughts about Lucifer began to arise again: “You got this all wrong about Lucifer, the way it is.”

There was one meditation when Lord Alpha came and told me a phrase that struck me on the spot. He said: “In fact, you are Lucifer in the embodiment.”

But I know myself that I am not bad, that I am good. “But why am I Lucifer – isn’t he bad?” This objective got me seriously thinking about this subject. This one phrase that Lord Alpha said, “In fact, you are Lucifer in the embodiment,” began to expand my consciousness.

About a year went by, and I went on vacation to Altai for about a week. At that time I was working as a chief accountant. When I began to go on the trip, I asked the Masters: “What book should I take to read?”

And They answered: “You should take the second volume of “The Secret Doctrine” by Helena Blavatsky (smile).”

When I arrived, I began to walk away from the place where the recreation center is located. I walked more than a kilometer away from the people and I sat on the coast of the Katun River. I was sitting there and reading the second volume of “The Secret Doctrine” by Helena Blavatsky. I must say that I had read the first volume before. It was sometime in the year 1991or 1992. I made it all the way through the first volume, but understood nothing, absolutely nothing. And I thought that the second volume maybe not a better one.

But, since the Masters told me to read this book, I began to read it. I went to a place where there were no people. It turns out that it is very important to get into an environment where there are no people around for a great distance. I was sitting there and reading, and I could not tear myself away from this book. To me, it was like a romance novel or a detective mystery, that is, I was eagerly reading the book. The reading was breathtaking. I could understand everything that was written there, and I cried because of the Truth that I read there. I just cried. And I thought: “My God, what fools we are!” And me, of course (smile).

I returned to Omsk and then more miracles began to happen to me. The Masters had told me that I would be fired from my work in August. August came to an end, and when I went to my work on the 31st of August, I got fired. This was not a tragedy for me because I understood that the work that I have to do is the primary work. It was absolutely breathtaking and I wanted to share with people the revelations that came to me when I was reading the second volume of “The Secret Doctrine.”

I already had the “Sirius” newsletter and the “Sirius” website by then. And I had about 100 subscribers to the newsletter and about the same number of people visited the site every day.

I began to meditate, and during the meditation, I experienced very important moments. The information was transmitted in blocks, but I did not realize that these were the Dictations. I did not understand that I can receive the Dictations. But, immediately after I finished the meditation, I could not calm down until I wrote the text on the computer. And then I had to send it through a newsletter immediately; this was the main condition. That is, the Masters prepared me for receiving the Dictations, and sending out the Dictations on the same day was one of the conditions. Thus, I wrote only one chapter and then I immediately sent it out and put it on the website; then I wrote a second chapter, and also sent it out and put it on the website. Thus, there wasn’t a book; it was just written by itself.

But the worst thing was that when I returned home to Omsk, I opened the second volume of “The Secret Doctrine” and began to read it again, and I no longer understood what is written there. For me, it was absolute gibberish. How can I write about things that I do not understand? Then I found a solution. There is an abandoned park on the other bank of the Irtysh River. I went there, and there was nobody in the park. It was in autumn, late September or early October, and there was nobody in the park. I was sitting there and after a while I was starting to understand the meaning again. Then I was making the sample quotations, I was just marking a page and a paragraph, a page and a paragraph. And when I came home, I just linked all of the parts (using an electronic version of “The Secret Doctrine”). Then I meditated, and I was given the sequence in which the material was to be organized.

It is interesting that when I was receiving all the same information from “within” myself, I didn’t believe it; but when I read all the same material “outside,” then I began to believe it.

I was really afraid to publish a newsletter on this theme because I knew that most people do not think like what is written here. But it was a necessary condition, and that was the test. When I fulfilled what the Masters asked me to do, I was given the opportunity for further work. And if I said, “I do not want to hear anything,” then there would be no Dictations or the Mantle of the Messenger, and the Masters would never continue working with me.

That is why this book, “Good and Evil,” is the most important of all the books, and it is a key book. Do you have the strength to sit up until the end of this seminar? Actually, it is very hard to do. I don’t know how you can do it, but maybe you can endure it.

I hope that the Masters will do something and our consciousness, our collective consciousness, will be raised a little and we will be able to understand and feel something on another level.

“The Secret Doctrine” was written in 1888. All of this information was already written122 years ago, and humanity is in no hurry to change their consciousness. Such is the inertia of mindsets.